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The Thinking Man's Guide To Finding A Great Woman

Recently, a male friend of mine expressed to me his concerns over dating. He told me how hard it is to find a good woman these days and was candid and honest enough to also share with me some of his insecurities about dating.

“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve put on a little weight and with my career I just don’t get out there much. I’m not a drinker so I don’t like to hang out at bars. When I do meet someone I’m interested in, I don’t even know what to suggest to her to do. It’s really tough out there and seems like chance and luck play too large a role in it all. How can I increase my chances of meeting someone special?”

Here are a few tips for the mature man wanting to find a quality woman.

Women Think Differently From You. Really.

First, remember that women are by nature not nearly as visual when it comes to sexual attraction as men. What we are attracted to is confidence, capability and depth of character. (Well, the good ones are. Some are attracted solely to your bank account, and with those, you are on your own!)

Avoid The Bull Approach

Keep in mind that attractive women are constantly being stampeded by bulls through a china shop. It’s like a switch goes off in men’s brains and onward they charge! So be the guy that holds back, maintains control. The guy who isn’t so obviously willing to do anything just to get laid. It’s the guy that hangs back with a quiet smile on his face and waits until the stampede is over that catches our interest and whom we are likely to approach!

Remember, that to get into our pants you must first get into our minds. Seduce us. Slowly. All day. For days. Weeks. Give us the chance to build sexual tension through anticipation. Trust me. The results will be well worth it!

Where To Find Us

In regard to where to find us, if you want to meet a drinker, go to a bar. If you want to meet an intellectual, go to a lecture. If you want to meet a cultured music lover, go to the symphony. If you want to meet a kind heart, volunteer at the local shelter. If you want to date an athlete, run a 5k.

Be who you want to date and date who you want to be!

Where To Take Us

For date suggestions, choose something new to you that you’ve been wanting to do and share the experience of discovering something out of your daily routine with her. Take her go-cart racing or to a cooking or painting class. Nothing bonds two people more than trying something new together. Great sites to discover things you might not normally do, and be able to do them without breaking the bank, is or, or if budget is not an issue, All offer new and interesting experiences sure to wow you both! Remember, you should have fun too! Dating should never be a drudgery.

Just Be You

Most importantly, just be yourself. You don’t have to be the best looking, the most brilliant or the most personable. Just be you. Because the ultimate goal here is long term success. The quickest path to that is allowing each other to discover, in the most direct and honest way, who you both really are. If you pretend to love the opera because you think that’s what she’s into, when in reality it grates on your last nerve, you are going to have to unwind that later on. Too much work and effort. Be candid and honest with yourself about your likes and wants. You have every right to hang out with someone who has similar interests.

Have fun! Even if you are more of an introvert, approach each date like it’s the chance to discover a whole new world and perspective from another’s point of view. Learn, enjoy, listen and share. If it works, great! If not, shake it off and move on. Keep trying. Chalk it up to a learning exercise, which it is. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it!

I hope sharing these insights with you from the woman’s perspective helps. Dating isn’t that complicated. Approach it as discovering new friends instead of interviewing life partners.

Wishing all of you single men out there success!

(Except for the creeps and sociopaths. You guys need to stay home!)

© 2018 Elisa Fortise Christensen

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